 
Several years ago I was producing a client’s 25th gala dinner up in the Blue Mountains. In order to save costs, I’d agreed to pick up the “talent” (and I use the word lightly) at Sydney airport as he’d flown in from Melbourne and I from Albury from a previous event.
Due to my client’s ethnic origins they wanted a particular comedian and had sourced him prior to our appointment. Their preferred comedian was unavailable so the client went with his recommendation. This guy was mildly funny on a TV show he did back in the early 90s however, when I finally found him at the airport, he was clearly sleep deprived and wired to within an inch of his life. Thus began the long drive up to the Blue Mountains. About an hour into the trip he wanted food, caffeine and, no doubt , a top up of whatever he was on.
Once we arrived about 4pm he took off to his room saying he’d see me at 7.30 before his first set at 8.00pm (between entrée and main). At 7.30 we called his room and continued until 8.00. The hotel finally roused him and he wandered in bleary eyed at about 8.20. Well, this idiot finishes his set, gets off stage and starts abusing me for letting the mains out during his routine. That’s when I decided that the entertainment should not ever be paid more than the event organiser!
 
An efficiency and time management conference for a national supermarket chain was due to start at 7.30am with a presentation from a trainer from a national training company. Unfortunately, the trainer didn’t show up until 8.50am, and rather than apologise, had a go at the delegates for being early.
The trainer chased delegates out of the room so that she could set up her presentation. During this time she realised that she had forgotten her training manuals, and so asked hotel staff to print them for her within 20 minutes. At 128 pages in size, spiral bound, and refusing to unbind her original, the photocopying took one-and-a-half hours.
The course finally began at 10.20am – almost two hours after it was supposed to.
At the conclusion of the session the trainer asked if anyone had any questions. The organiser of the conference asked the trainer whether she, as a so-called time management expert, had ever attended the course herself.
Laughter could apparently be heard throughout the venue.
 
A venue operator said no problem when representatives from a pipe manufacturing company said that they would organise the entertainment for their Christmas party they were holding at the hotel.
When the hotel meetings and events manager asked what type they could expect the client said it would be a bit of music and a bit of dancing from some of the guests.
As the night progressed and the cue was given the “office girls” who were sitting with other guests made their way to the dance floor where they stripped off and did what they were paid to do… with one another no less.
Our venue informant tells us that beverage sales on the night were triple what was expected.
 
On day two of a week-long event, the event director had a night of no sleep. With one activity concluding at around 1am and work still to be done before the next one started at 6am, he worked through the night so that all was ready to go once more.
By the end of this day, which included driving for more than 300km, he was desperate for some sleep and so took a nap in his motel room in the late afternoon prior to the evening’s VIP reception.
This was understandable, except nobody remembered to wake him up again. He missed the big night entirely, which included participation by major sponsors and even some parliamentary guests.
 
Anybody who has had anything to do with exhibitions no doubt realise that those exhibition stands can be pretty heavy. So what happens when they’re not safely erected? According to one of our readers they can cause a little bit of damage as one did at a motorshow event a while back.
It seems that somebody forgot to sandbag a stand to ensure that it didn’t topple over. Unfortunately it did, and even more regrettably it crashed onto an $800,000 sports car that was on display.
“Some years back I was working as a part-time instructor with a racing drivers’ school in the UK. An important part of our business was company incentive programs - fun days where the punters learned the basics of high performance driving, then were let loose behind the wheel themselves, with an instructor riding shotgun.
One of my group had asked several intelligent questions during the classroom briefing, but seemed a little uneasy during the practical instruction. We were trained to watch out for visual cues, but he seemed okay, so the time came to don helmets and repair to the race-prepared Alfa, with punter driving and me observing in the right hand seat.
All went well through the first couple of corners. In fact, he was quite tidy and I complimented him by giving a thumbs up signal.
Then we came to the straight and he planted it, as one does.
With the rev counter indicating a speed of around 150 km/h, we passed the first braking marker, but our hero showed no sign of slowing down!
Not only alert, but definitely alarmed, I noted a glazed look in the eyes of the punter as he kept it flat and we headed towards the wall at the end of the straight. With him showing no sign of backing off, let alone braking, I opened my window sufficiently to hit the engine kill switch on the bonnet, then grabbed the steering wheel with one hand and the gear lever with the other, did a clutchless down-change, then threw the car into a lurid spin.
The car came to rest less than a metre from the wall and as I gathered my wits I clambered out of the car, just about ready to hammer the stupid, senseless clown who had just about killed us both.
He, on the other hand, calmly climbed out, tossed his helmet on the driver’s seat and strolled off without saying a word.
The moral of the story? Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!”
The spoken word is so instantaneous and so relatively effortless to create that sometimes our mouths work faster than our brains. Making a gaff can just be downright embarrassing. Forgetting to mention an event’s sponsor, for example, or mentioning the sponsor’s competitor in the wrong context would be embarrassing – and it might also cost you business or a valued business relationship. But everyone in the meetings and events sector should also be aware that sometimes your mouth can get you into legal hot water.
At a conference recently I overheard one delegate calling another “a self-important, petty, dishonest little s****!” Another delegate in attendance (colleague or friend of the first speaker) piped up with “Yes he is, isn’t he, but you’d better not defame him like that – he’s just the type to sue you!”
What’s going on here, legally? Is it really defamation? Could the target of the comments really sue for this? And what about the second fellow’s words – could they be a problem? There is a lot of confusion about defamation. In simple terms, I defame you if I say (or write) something about you to a third person that damages your reputation.
Merely insulting someone in private, one-to-one, is not defamation because there is no third person, and no damage to reputation. If you are defamed, you can sue the person who made the disparaging remarks for compensation (“damages”) for your injured reputation. Under the recently introduced “uniform” defamation laws you will be limited to $250,000 for pure damage to your reputation, unless you can persuade the court that the defamation was “aggravated” or particularly grievous. You might also be entitled to “economic loss” if you can establish that you suffered financially as a result of the damage to your reputation.
So, was the first remark that I overheard at the conference defamatory? It may well have been. Even though the remark was made by the maker of the insult to the “victim” of it, it was uttered loudly – with the obvious intent that it should be overheard by others such as myself, and at least the maker’s friend, though that would be a matter of fact to be proven by the evidence.
As the court has put it - a remark is defamatory if it is “of a kind likely to lead ordinary decent folk to think less of the person about whom it is made”. Clearly, a statement that this person is “self-important, petty and dishonest” and a “s***”, would be likely to make others think less of him.
There are numerous defences to defamation, including:
• The defence of justification – if the maker of the statement can prove the statement was substantially true. As expressions of opinion, in our example this defence is unlikely to apply;
• The defence of honest opinion – if the maker proves that the statement was an expression of opinion of the maker rather than a statement of fact, that the opinion related to a matter of public interest, and is properly based. In our example the statement was most likely a statement of opinion; but whether the other elements of this defence could be established is doubtful; and
• The defence of triviality – if the maker proves that the statement was made in circumstances that mean that the victim was unlikely to suffer harm. In our case this defence may well apply.
The context will be important – the words were uttered at a bar at which numerous delegates were socialising after the final session of the conference. On one hand, it is tempting to argue that an insult hurled in a bar, fueled by alcohol and in a raucous environment, is trivial in its effect. On the other hand, the victim might argue that, surrounded by his peers at a conference social function, the damage to his reputation is likely to be compounded.
And the maker’s friend? He has affirmed the remarks, and added his own little observation about the litigious tendencies of the target (as if being litigious was a criticism!). All jokes aside – if you re-publish a defamatory remark you too can be guilty of defamation, even though you are not the originator of it. So, as the defamation spreads like wildfire through the gathering, everyone who repeats it may also be committing defamation!
So the message is, if you want to disparage someone, don’t publish your views to third persons and do not make your remarks so that they can be overheard; do it in private, one-on one with the object of your rancour. Better still, keep your views to yourself.
For further details contact Matt Crouch on (02) 8281 7800 or email mcrouch@bartier.com.au.
 
The “Hoax Master”, Chris De Havilland has a few stories from his illustrious career speaking as an expert in almost everything.
He opened a building in a city CBD as a US futures guru to have its Lord Mayor at the time invite him to attend the official opening of the new city centre along with HRH Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. He’s been the recipient of regal treatment from managing directors of international hotels when they believed he was Balmoral Castle’s “royal caterer” to opening Singapore’s airport extension, and the list goes on.
Perhaps the cheekiest stunt he pulled was about a year ago for a media event. It was arranged to reinforce the very noble message of water safety - specifically in relation to backyard pools and rural damns. Here’s where the media journalists showed their bloodhound talents.
Because statistics showed that 28 families had lost a child under the age of five years within the last 12 months due to drowning, Chris created a Canadian business entrepreneur who was set to turn Lake Burley Griffin into an underwater adventure park. Living underneath the surface would be 28 families! It worked in well with the theme of kids not being taught that water can be dangerous.
The TV and radio journalists turned up to the lunch/launch because the idea of a national attraction in the national capital is news. In full fat suit and false teeth, the curious “Canadian” was interviewed by TV and radio. The invitation was given to stay for the lunch or at least phone back later… the radio interviewer accepted, the TV reporter didn’t.
The hoax master presented, took questions, then revealed himself to get the important message across. The lunch was a great success and the audience had a great time.
Yes, the radio station reported the complete picture about the time the hoax story was headlining the 6 o’clock TV news!
The local TV channel seemed to miss the point but ABC’s Media Watch relished the tale.
They ran a complete program based on the lack of investigation in the media and featured it stating, “*** News Drowns in Hoax!”
Article submitted by sandy@wowfactory.com.au
 
Local pyrotechnicians were arranged by a professional conference organiser but nobody, it seems, informed the local fire brigade or anybody else for that matter that an in-house fireworks display would be occurring.
The modest budget for the event blew out dramatically when the fire department stormed the venue’s five-star ballroom with helmets, hoses and axes at the ready right into the middle of the international conference.
Hello boys!
 
Staff at a major venue had their taste for chicken drumsticks well and truly satisfied after the chef ordered raw chicken drumsticks instead of gelato drumsticks for a morning coffee break for 1200 guests.
The main meal on the staff canteen for the next little while was… you guessed it – chicken drumsticks!
 
From a venue operator…
A hired entertainer did his gig and retired to his dressing room, taking a couple of female guests with him. He called a staffer to bring some drinks to him backstage and then proceeded to get to know the young ladies a little more intimately. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment he forgot to lock the door and so the trio were a little taken aback when the waiter stormed in with the drinks. The waiter dropped off the drinks and hot-tailed it out of there quick as a wink.
 
“I was in charge of organising a Melbourne Cup lunch at a prominent Hobart venue.
The venue was all decked out in racing day livery, 150 ladies in beautiful fashions sipped champagne and enjoyed luscious canapes, a tasty light buffet lunch and delectable desserts. Three video monitors (this was before plasma screens) were placed around the room by a well known AV supplier.
I received a quick course in tuning the monitors to the racing channel and then changed to a music channel so as not to interfere with the ambience of the occasion with racing chatter and advertisements before the big race.
And then the moment came!
A guest reminded me that the time for the “the race” was approaching… I moved over to the monitor and changed it to the racing channel. Or so I thought. Lo and behold, all I got was Mr Ed the talking horse! (Does anyone remember Mr Ed?). My face took on a bright shade of crimson as the guests were getting agitated as the race had already started.
I looked for a technician but he had left the building. No matter what I tried, I could not locate the broadcast!
In panic, I raced into an office nearby and grabbed a transistor radio - yes, that is what they were called - and rushed back to the function and managed to tune the radio to the race just as the horses entered the finishing straight. At least my guests got to hear the end result!
Needless to say my acute embarrassment was compounded even further when the general manager called me into his office and let fly with a multitude of expletives that I will never forget.
The moral of the story? Check and double check and leave nothing to chance. Nothing is fool proof!”
 
And another one from “across the ditch”…
One time we were organising a hui for just over 100 delegates when the city was struck by a terrible storm. Flights were cancelled from about midday, and road closures blocked traffic going out of the city.
Throughout the day we monitored weather reports and flight cancellations, and stayed in constant contact to re-book as many flights as possible for the following morning, to ensure that our folks could get home as soon as possible. (Had we waited until the flights were officially cancelled by the airline, many of our delegates would have been forced to stay another full day - that’s how long it was taking to clear the backlog of stranded travellers!)
We kept the client and delegates informed at each step of the way, which meant they not only had input into their arrangements but remained focused on the conference program.
It seemed every single hotel in the city was booked – in the end we were able to not only house all the delegates at a fabulous hotel, but still managed to keep the total conference under-budget!
 
From deaths to drug labs in rooms, to finding a plastic bag of money under a bed after a guest checked out… When you’re in the hotel business anything goes, as one hotelier told mice.net magazine.
The latest was enough to leave our industry insider and staffers falling over in stitches when a distraught female guest called the hotel’s lost property saying she had left her… er… device… in her room and was wondering if the hotel could express post it to her saying she “needs it urgently”.
The woman was, and no doubt still is, a regular corporate guest of the hotel, and a happy one after the return of her, um, apparatus.
 
From SMA Productions’ Michael Falzon comes this gem…
We were recently engaged to provide the entertainment for a high profile individual at the opening of a brand spankers six-star Aussie resort. Of the cast of three, one was flying in from North America arriving that very morning and another from interstate, having performed at a functuion the night before... seemingly simple logistics? Well as it happened, no. As the gig fell in the middle of a very busy period, somehow a date was mixed up in someone’s schedule. When the cast members rocked up to the airport, one was missing! Straight on the phone and “Oh, was that today?”
We had to charter a private plane to get the talent to the island.
The show must go on, albeit sometimes with a vastly reduced margin.
 
From one of our readers…
We were organising a [New Zealand] roadshow with an international speaker, a highly respected SF-based education expert. Everything was going beautifully for each of the legs – venues were fabulous, delegates were easy, and the client was delighted…until the day the Auckland leg arrived.
Everyone was ready and assembled at one venue… but the run sheet sent the speaker to another one, on the other side of town!
We quickly moved to Plan B - more coffee and a quick swap-around of the program. When the keynote got there she was amazing, and it all worked out okay in the end.
We have gone on to work with this same client with the relationship intact because we took a cool-headed, proactive approach at the time and improved our processes following that incident.
Phew!
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